HELP with Malware! PLEASE?

Okay I've had broadband for 2 weeks and I already have some pretty crappy Malware on here. I'm talking even my Excel won't open up. Should I take it to a computer shop? Is there any free program I can use to get rid of these Trojan Horses, Malware, and Spyware I have on here. I probably should've told my parents to get a mac, but I need some seriously help. I DL a shitty spyware program that isn't doing ANYTHING. I need help Thank you whoever can give me a hand. It's so bad I have pop-ups for anti-spyware stuff coming up!

HELP with Malware! PLEASE?anti virus

Both of these are free and work good.

Spybot - Search %26 Destroy detects and removes spyware, a relatively new kind of threat not yet covered by common anti-virus applications. Spyware silently tracks your surfing behaviour to create a marketing profile for you that is transmitted without your knowledge to the compilers and sold to advertising companies. If you see new toolbars in your Internet Explorer that you haven't intentionally installed, if your browser crashes inexplicably, or if your home page has been "hijacked" (or changed without your knowledge), your computer is most probably infected with spyware. Even if you don't see the symptoms, your computer may be infected, because more and more spyware is emerging. Spybot-S%26D is free.